Fine Dining

Posted on November 6, 2023 by De-Me-Stified

“Let your words be seasoned with salt…” ~ St. Paul

“… – in case you have to eat them” ~ Imisi

“We all make choices, but in the end, our choices make us.” ~ K. Levine

Hi and welcome back to De-Me-Stified. Hope you’ve been up to much.

If you’ve seen the news lately, the biggest question on your mind is probably a variant of “how on earth did we get here?” As individuals, as a collective, how did we really get to this point?

It’s the kind of question one asks on realising they may be lost. It suddenly hits you that your current position is not the predicted summation of all the steps you’ve taken. You trace the crumbs back in your head. It probably all checks out. Yet, here you are – lost! How the heck did you get here?

Many years ago, on a nice Easter Sunday, my brother and I decided to break from the bunch and take a shortcut home. One foot in front of the other, as anyone would – until we were facing a river that could easily have had a jumbo jet for breakfast.

Our default instinct was to complain and ask a bunch of unhelpful questions. Why did we even choose such a God-forsaken path home? What were we even trying to prove. Wasn’t it easier to have stuck with the rest of the group? Eventually, realising salvation was ours to find, we learnt to ask the right questions. Where did we go wrong and what were our options? We didn’t own phones at the time. So, no way to dial in help. We had to figure it out on our own. Luckily, there was a farmer putting in an extra shift nearby. With his help, we made it home while lunch was still warm.

We were incredibly lucky. That entire ordeal only lasted about two hours. The equivalent of a blink in the grand scheme of things. That river, that moment of clarity, can typically be highly elusive. Some find it only after a decade on the job. Others may wake to it two decades into a major decision. Could yet be a good old midlife crisis for another group. A few inches past the third decade and you’re confronted with the jarring reality of existence. How did I become this person? What am I even doing? How did I get here?

Continue reading →
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Confessions of an Air-Puncher

Posted on August 27, 2022 by De-Me-Stified

“I’ve got a million people telling me why I can’t do it; that I’m not a real designer. I’m not real rapper either. I’m not a real musician either. I don’t know how to play the piano” ~ Kanye West

“To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom” ~ Socrates

Hi, and welcome back to De-Me-Stified. In the evergreen words of Usher, “these are my confessions” (or not -_-).

Me: Bless me, Father – for I am sin.

Padre: I know it’s been a while since your last confession, but that’s not how this works. You should say…

Me: I understand – but, please humour me.

—

Bless me, Father, for indulging. Even with a pile of rocks around my neck, I often carry on as one without a care in the world. The untrained eye may not see it, but experience tells us that no one really has it together.

Sometimes, that need to keep a clear head and calm gait makes the burden all the heavier. Maybe it’ll be easier if I pulled my hair out and just yelled out from the rooftops. At least, someone may identify and empathise. Or maybe they’d be insensitive and make things worse. Tough times, they say, never quite last. So, we trudge along – heavy, but hopeful.

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Spies in the Sky

Posted on May 7, 2020 by De-Me-Stified

DSC_5880 - Copy

“Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking” ~ B.M. Baruch

“If you already know what’s being said, you’re probably not listening” ~ Imisi

Hi, and welcome back to De-Me-Stified. These are rather sombre times, such as many of us have never witnessed before. So, respect to the dead, strength to the grieving and grace to the living as we make sense of the situation.

Courtesy of the times, it’s easy to find ourselves re-evaluating our priorities and returning to the very basics. All of a sudden, things we once fussed over now seem markedly unimportant – if we could just stay healthy and connected to loved ones.

In the same spirit, I thought we’d look at something fairly basic; so basic, in fact, that we all do it without much thought. My hope is that by painting in the right colours, we could  learn to be more deliberate – and eventually better – with it.

A certain lecturer walked in one day, back in uni, and suddenly called for a test. Back then, even tests you prepared well for had ways of springing nasty surprising. This one was impromptu; so we were definitely up against it. Continue reading →

Posted in #512iMagInG, COVID19, Life, Listening, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Of Knowing and Not

Posted on December 31, 2019 by De-Me-Stified

Of Knowing and Not

Hi, and welcome back to De-Me-Stified.

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing” ~ Socrates

“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know” ~ Mark Twain

“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better” ~ Maya Angelou

It’s a few short hours to the end of 2019; that we all know. We also know our respective names and, maybe, the colour of our eyes. But what else do we really know about the universe and everything that binds us to it?

Maybe you’ve stumbled on some incredible insights recently and can’t wait to make my head spin. I’d love to hear all about it, really. But first, allow me to rephrase the question: how can you be sure of what you know?

Sometime ago, I was happily blaring a song I’d just learnt from my French teacher. Only problem was she must have fabricated the lyrics – because they were all wrong or meaningless (to those who really knew French). Of course, I was certain anyone offering a correction was wrong. My teacher was right – and everyone else could go juggle rocks. Continue reading →

Posted in #512iMagInG, Choices, Knowledge, Life, New Year, Premonition | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Puppets on a String

Posted on June 5, 2019 by De-Me-Stified

Puppets on a String

“No one can whistle a symphony. It takes a whole orchestra to play it” ~ H.E. Luccock

“It’s hard to detect good luck – it looks so much like something you’ve earned” ~ F. A. Clark

 Hi, and welcome back to DeMeStified.

 We are clearly in the age of the big screen. Not that movies are a new invention; just that they seem to have taken on a new dimension in recent times.

Every writer aspires to create characters that live on in the minds of viewers long after the movie has run its course. That used to be the holy grail, except that it no longer suffices. The bar has now gone up a few notches.

The new goal is to permeate the viewer’s everyday life and sift into pop culture. No way you haven’t noticed how easily newer movies influence otherwise unrelated conversations. They basically market themselves through peer conversations. Excellent strategy.

Still some of my all-time favourites are from way back in the analog days. Of those, very few can be mentioned in the same breath as the Godfather trilogy. That’s one movie I confess to watching more than once. I even went and got the video game. I’m that much of a fan. Still, in all my time of watching and playing, only recently have I noticed the Godfather logo. Continue reading →

Posted in 5-12 iMagInG, Life, Success | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

The Audacity of Nope

Posted on December 25, 2018 by De-Me-Stified

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Hi, and welcome to #DeMeStified. Wanted to post this (and maybe one more) before the year ran out. In a sense, it’s a reflection of recent events. In another, it’s a reflection on them. It’s more asking than telling. So, if you’ve got answers, kindly share.

“Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orange tree would rather die than produce lemons” ~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“The test of courage comes when we are in the minority” ~ Ralph W. Sockman

“Sometimes “No” is the kindest word” ~ Vironika Tugaleva

It’s been a rather eventful year, this; with lots to feel and learn from. It’s mostly come in seasons; so I can’t say there’s been any one theme for the entire year. But the past eight weeks have seemed rather consistent in the amount of disappointment they brought.

I’ve had the door slammed in my face so many times, I’m starting to appreciate not having a long nose. The “No” has come in all shades and tones: “Sorry, but….”. “Unfortunately, …..”. “We regret to inform you that….”.

If my world were defined by events of the past eight weeks alone, then maybe I can conclude that ‘no’ is the easiest thing to say. Broader experience, however, says otherwise – particularly when we’re not afforded the anonymity of an email address.

Many years ago, I stumbled on a little book about half the size of a regular notebook. It was titled something along the lines of “511 Tips on How to Live a Happy Life”. The book made for a curious read to my young mind; and there are three points I remember the most from it. Continue reading →

Posted in #512iMagInG, Life, Peer-Pressure | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Why Don’t I Write?

Posted on October 1, 2018 by De-Me-Stified

Why Don't I Write

“To gain your own voice, forget about having it heard.” ― Allen Ginsberg

“One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Hi – and welcome back. Trust you’ve been up to great things in the time it’s been? Today’s title is rather intuitive. Easily the most frequent question I’ve faced since I last penned something on here. It stares me in the face at every corner I turn. I thought I did a good job of running – but, clearly, hiding hasn’t worked out so well. So, let’s just face it.

PS – I have to warn you that this may read like a complete waste of time; the incoherent ramblings of a mentally obese literary has-been. Depending on your setup, it could also present as a sleep-inducing caricature. And, on another hand, you just might find it a commentary on recent happenings. Don’t hold me to it if you don’t see it. In the words of a ‘reputable businessman’, “si tu scis te scire”: if you know, you know. Continue reading →

Posted in 5-12 iMagInG, Leadership, Life, Nigeria | 2 Comments

Yes Love, No Love!

Posted on December 21, 2017 by De-Me-Stified

DeMeStified

“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.” ~ E.A. Bucchianeri

“Maybe I was destined to forever fall in love with people I couldn’t have. Maybe there’s a whole assortment of impossible people waiting for me to find them. Waiting to make me feel the same impossibility over and over again.” ~ C. R. Brunt

Hi, Everyone. Been a while *_*. After about a year out, I’m rather eager to get to it.

So, I read this story on Twitter sometime ago. One of those tragic love ones, where one party leaves and the other is left forever stuck in a self-destructing whirlwind. It’s made me do quite a bit of thinking. I’ve been wondering how a human – hard as it is to know what we want in and for ourselves – can know what they want in others. About the fine line between love and hurt – and the endless battles between head and heart.

Long before it became common for partners to stab each other in the neck , I dreamt – many times during the same night – that it happened to me. Crazy – but much realer. My potential stabber was in a room only a few feet down the hall. I’ve had a few scary nights in my day, but that one ranks right up there with the worst – and for good reason. This was love gone bad – and the signs pointed to the very worst. Though it didn’t happen, I often wonder how we got it so wrong. How did something so beautiful turn out as toxic (in expectation or reality)? Was it A; was it B? Or was it the fact of A and B? Continue reading →

Posted in Life, Love, Relationship, Truth, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Time Flies

Posted on December 29, 2016 by De-Me-Stified

Time Flies, DeMeStified, 5-12 iMagInG

“One day you’re the cock of the walk, the next you’re the feather duster.” – P. Morgan

Today, I watched my good friend get married. It was such a lovely occasion that I felt my molten heart pour out of my chest. The lighting was simply perfect: enchantingly colourful, yet mellow enough to set the mood. Add that to some celestial music and you got an atmosphere that milked the soul for all emotion. I looked on, spellbound, until it was time to read the story of time.

Per prevailing customs, it was time for the new bride to bid her parents farewell and proceed to the groom’s side of the hall (and, by symbolism, family). The bride was required to kneel in prayer before her mother. The act itself lasts no more than a couple of minutes; but it’ll feel like an eternity to the trained eye. And, for one laden with emotion, it may be best to look away. Such was the rush! Continue reading →

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Pot of Beans

Posted on August 12, 2016 by De-Me-Stified

Pot of Beans, #DeMeStified, Life, Choices, Decisions, Being Right

“Until we’ve eaten our words, life doesn’t consider our diet balanced” ~ Imisi

Hi and welcome back to #DeMeStified. Please allow me to open with what was intended as the conclusion; this life is one greasy pot of beans. What we know, we know for now; the universe makes its own plans.

First, I have to ask which of these two you’d prefer to work with: the guy who says “I’ll feed you back in 5 minutes” or the one who says “I’ll get back to you soonest (or ‘shortly‘; in fact, throw in any of the many ways of keeping people off your back indefinitely)”. Picture it coming from your tailor, mailman or the sales rep taking your food order. Imagine being invited to an event that’s billed to end “as soon as possible” or having to sign a contract that requires you to “just do your best”.

Wing it as you may, it still wouldn’t fly. Humans crave assurances; we seek to know. Mistaking assertion for expertise, we easily muzzle reality to pick assertion over vagueness. This disposition raises the demand for assertion, which in turn hikes its going rate in the open market. Continue reading →

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